


Moving On

by Ermmmmmm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 16:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4529232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ermmmmmm/pseuds/Ermmmmmm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whilst on a job, Aaron receives a blast from the past when he least expects it. Three part fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. London

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of updating the fics I've started, of course I decide to start something new! This is definitely only a two part fic though, although originally it was just gonna be one chapter. I hope you enjoy it, I really enjoyed the dialogue for this chapter!

Aaron hated doing the trips to clients down in London; he couldn't understand how southerners could bear it down there. They bumped into you, they didn't say sorry when they did, everyone was miserable as sin, and, worst of all: they didn't put gravy on their chips. The place smelt of pretentiousness and fancy-arse hipster restaurants. _Robert would have really fit in down here_ , he sniffed as he got back inside the van outside of a building site in Islington. The deal had been important, with potential for a more permanent relationship coming out of it – that hadn't stopped Aaron and Adam doing Rock, Paper, Scissors to a best of 15 to decide who went before Aaron admitted defeat.

 _Deal sorted, back for tea_ , he texted his mum as he took a swig from his flask cup of hot tea. November had arrived in style; Aaron could see his breath as he left the village early that morning, and he had to scrape some of the frost from the window of the van. At least he had managed to beat the rush hour traffic down the M1, but in his hurry to miss traffic he had forgotten to pick up dinner from a service station on the way down. Famished, he went on the search for a greasy spoon to fill up before going home.

Refusing to listen to that whiny condescending woman that tried to direct him on the maps application on his phone, he pulled the van out of his parking spot and went on the look out himself. He could've got something from a service station on his way back up, but he hadn't eaten since six and was absolutely starving. He would find something here.

Half an hour later, he was struggling. He was sure he’d seen that dog shitting against that lamppost while his owner was reading the paper three times now, and he’d just gone past that school twice. Admitting defeat, he pulled over into a parking spot on the next road and got his maps application out. Fed up of waiting, he set navigation for the nearest café, and pulled out.

“Turn around when possible,” squawked the whiny satnav woman. “Turn around when possible”.

“Oh fuck off, yeh bossy cow”, Aaron muttered as he trundled down another back street.

“Turn around when possible”.

“Piss off!”, Aaron spat loudly, ready to chuck the fucking thing out the van window. This would be a long journey.

* * *

It had taken another twenty minutes until he finally got to the café, pulling sharply on the handbrake as he finally managed to shut that fucking woman up. Absolutely not in the mood for any more shit from people today, he marched across the road without looking and opened the door to the café. Five deep queue. Just fucking great.

 _Wrapped it up, mate?_ Adam had texted as Aaron felt his pocket vibrate.

 _Yeah, getting sommut to eat, be back tonight. Pint?_ Aaron longed to be out of this shithole and back to the peace and quiet of the Dales as soon as he could.

Huffing as he tried to calm down in the queue, he felt another vibration in his pocket not long after he had put it back in there – _shit, Adam’s eager._ They didn't see each other as much outside of work anymore since his best friend had got married, so he took advantage of any opportunity to spend with him. The small smile that entered his face was wiped immediately as he saw who it was.

 _Can we talk please? Missing you lots x_ , Robert had sent his sixth grovelling text this week.

“Ya can fuck off an’ all”, Aaron hissed under his breath, shoving his phone in his pocket, all riled up again. With Chrissie gone, Robert was doing his best to win him and his family back. Aaron was tentatively giving him another chance to win back his trust, but the two had had a fight the week before and Aaron couldn't be fucked with the drama.

Aaron had sworn that the queue hadn't moved in the last ten minutes. His tummy rumbled obnoxiously, and he peered over the shoulder of the exceptionally tall person in front to see what the hold up was. He couldn't quite see, but he thought he could see a woman gossiping with the lady at the till.

 _Come on, get a fucking move on_ , Aaron growled in his head, putting his best anger management skills to the test before he throttled whomever was holding them up at the front of the queue. They had picked the wrong day.

Suddenly Aaron snapped, “Are you gonna bloody hurry up or just stand there all day having a chinwag?!” Seething slightly, he peered round the tall guy in front who had moved out of the way in shock. When Aaron got a better view, his anger dissipated into disbelief. He couldn't believe it. In all the places and the greasy spoons they could have been in, they had to be in the same one.

“Aaron…?”, the woman stopped talking to the lady and looked down the queue, mimicking Aaron’s shocked expression inch for inch.

“…H-Hazel…!”

* * *

“I could never understand that Northern thing about gravy on chips,” Hazel was babbling idiosyncratically as Aaron finally had got to the front of the queue. “I said to myself, I said, ‘Hazel, don't ever let yourself get swept up in all that gravy nonsense, girl. You just stick with the salt and vinegar”.

“And for nonsense, you met me instead”, Aaron mumbled to her as he handed over a crumpled up five pound note for the horribly bland sausage and chips in a big paper package.

“Got that right, mate”, Hazel retorted. “You were an assault on this poor woman’s senses from beginning to end - an insight into the psyche of the medically deranged”.

“Well, at least I can keep my stomach on a fishing boat, unlike you”, Aaron shot back playfully. “You vomiting smelt worse than the bloody fish”.

“That was not my idea, Aaron”, Hazel argued back as they went to find a table away from the door, the draught getting in from the bitterly cold wind outside. “Besides, I'm sure that fisherman had it in for me the moment I got on!”

Aaron smiled as he sat down, his anger and frustration of the day so far forgotten in memories of a time before affairs and French adventures. Seeing Hazel for the first time in so long made Aaron’s eyes sting with all the memories, good and bad, of the two years he had spent with her and her son, Jackson. Hazel had left to escape Jackson’s haunting memory, no longer able to move on with her life whilst seeing everything that Jackson had done around the village. She had asked Aaron to come with her, imploring him to see the world and dream bigger than he had ever done, but he couldn't move on whilst she was still a part of his life – they had become impossible to coexist, and it could only have ended one way.

Aaron had never imagined that he ever get to see the vibrant and controversial Cockney again. For a long time, he didn't want to; he had gone through a lot of pain to forgive himself for Jackson’s death, and seeing her would have brought the wounds right back. Ed had never been enough to wipe the dull sense of grief and loss that Aaron had carried, and it wasn't until he returned from France that he had felt that he could see memories of Jackson in the village and feel sane and healthy again. He could go down to Jackson’s grave and sit there to remember all the good times they had shared, and not all of the memories of his last few months of their relationship. The wheelchair. The video diaries. The endless depression. The suicidal tendencies. The giving up. The potion. The tears.

Seeing Hazel now had definitely brought some of that back, he couldn't deny. The two things were inextricably linked for good, and there was nothing that he could do about it. But Aaron had grown up, had forgiven himself, had moved on. He felt like he could face this.

“You look well”, Aaron pointed out, Hazel’s tanned skin clear to see as she took off her winter coat and put it behind her chair. “Been on yer travels again?”

“You bet’cha”, she smiled. “Just come back from a couple of weeks in Rhodes. They’re all broke as ‘ell out there, but do they care? By ‘ell, they don't, Aaron – they just pour more ouzo and forget about it. I said to myself, I said, ‘Hazel, you have a lot to learn from these people. When something goes tits up, it's party time’. Then you wake up, and you realise you're more in debt from the partying…”

Aaron laughed, “Well, it looks like it's done you good. Do you still travel a lot?”

“More than ever, Aaron”, she exclaimed, her accent even stronger now she was among her own people, Aaron noticed. “Been racking up the air miles. Bought more chocolate in duty frees than I do in supermarkets. Avoiding the tax makes eating it that bit sweeter”, she winked as she tucked into her battered sausage. “Managed to go to China for the first time last year. I tell you, Aaron, the people are amazing there. Bonkers, but amazing. And the food? Like a dream. Once in a life time experience, I tell you”.

“I'll try to remember that next time I'm down the Chinese chippy”, Aaron rebutted jokingly, earning a swipe from Hazel across the table. Turning a little more serious, he asked, “So…where did you go when you left Emmerdale?”

Hazel sighed as she swallowed a chip. “I took the first plane to Marrakech that night. Might have had a bit too much wine in the departure lounge, but I had to get my fill before I got to Morocco – they don't drink there. Dunno how they manage it. That night, I said to myself, I said ‘Hazel, Aaron is right. I needed to focus on me, to move on, to be happy again on my own’. So I decided I wouldn't come back for three months. I had the money, nothing was keeping me at home, so I had nothing to lose. I went to Marrakech, then visited the Pyramids, then went down to Cape Town. God, what a view, I wish I could show you the pictures, Aaron. Then I went to Argentina, met a gorgeous young waiter in Buenos Aires who showed me how to tango”, Hazel flicked her head dramatically as she said the last bit.

“Then he noticed you had two left feet”, Aaron replied, tongue in his cheek and eyebrows raised.

“Oi!”, Hazel swiped him again. “I’ll have you know, he said I had natural flair. A real feel for the mood of the music, an instinct for passion and romance. Or at least that's what it sounded like, I don’t speak much Spanish”.

Aaron laughed again, the outside world paling into insignificance as he caught up with Hazel. They had always had a very banter-orientated relationship, something he missed in cautious Paddy and his bombastic mother. He could push the boundaries with his teasing, and Hazel gave both barrels back. The lightness of conversation had transported Aaron back to when he was 18 again; before Jackson had had his accident, after he had come to terms with his sexuality. Things were less complicated – no affairs, no hiding, no impending perjury charges...

“What are you doing Daaan Saaath, then”, Hazel asked, bringing Aaron out his trance of thought. “Have we finally converted you?”, she asked with a wink.

“Not likely”, he scoffed as he took a swig of his tea. “Couldn't get me to like Cockney land if you tried”. Hazel gave an unimpressed look as Aaron continued, “I’m down here for a job, just sorted a deal with a supplier that should make some good money. I'm going back up tonight”.

Looking slightly disappointed, Hazel asked, “I see, what are you doing now anyway?”

“I run a scrap business with Adam, you remember him?”, Aaron explained.

“Adam…? Short, a bit thick?”, she asked as she cut up another bit of her sausage.

“Yeah, and my best friend, so watch it!”, Aaron reproached mockingly. “The business is growing well, so if I'm that unfortunate, I might be down here a bit more soon”.

Hazel’s face lit up again at the thought, “I knew you'd get yourself sorted out, well done. Bet you haven't left England since I left though!”, she winked as she drank her latte.

“Actually, I went to go live in France for a bit”, Aaron looked up from his chips.

“You?! Living in France?!”, Hazel exclaimed, an old woman on the table behind her turning round to see what the commotion was, tutting as she turned back to her paper. “When I left the village, I said to myself, I said ‘Hazel, I bet you any money that boy will never leave Yorkshire, let alone England’. I'm impressed, what did you do? Why did you go?”

Decided to leave out the part about taking the wrap for Adam after the garage fire, Aaron explained, “I…I had met another guy a few months after you left the village,” he felt slightly embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck as he gauged Hazel’s reaction.

“Well…I’m happy for you, Aaron”, she admitted, although it was plainly hard for her to hear that Aaron had moved on. “Jackson never would have wanted you to sit around on your arse for your entire life on your own. What was his name?”

“Ed,” Aaron replied, “a rugby player. We met, and then he told me that he was gonna go play in France for a club there, so he asked me to come with him. I had nowt going for me in Emmerdale, so I went. It was alright for a while, but I never really fit in, and people didn't really get me, so I came back on my own”.

“Well, I can understand that,” Hazel raised her eyebrows. “You're like me, an acquired taste”.

Aaron couldn’t argue with that, so smiled as he finished off his chips and took another sip of his tea.

“So…any new fellas in your life?”, Hazel probed lightly, looking as though she wanted Aaron to say no but was interested nonetheless.

“Well…that's a bit complicated,” he began, not entirely sure how to condense the last year down into a few sentences.

“As long as I'm back home for a hearty glass of wine for 9, I've got all day”.

“Well…I met another guy last December, Robert”, Aaron started. He trusted Hazel entirely, but he sat there choosing what he wanted to revisit for his own sake. “Tall, blond, handsome, got a bit of money. We have this amazing connection, it’s like magnetism. We’re just drawn to each other no matter how much I try…”.

“Sounds like a catch, Aaron”, Hazel nodded. “Too good to be true…?”

“Something like that…trouble is, he was…he was married”, Aaron confessed, unsure how Hazel would react.

“Oh Aaron, you dun’ ‘alf pick ‘em!”, she raised her eyebrows as she took a sip of her latte. “Did he leave his husband for you?”

“Wife,” he corrected her, and her eyes widened further. “But it turned out he was determined to go really far to protect his status and his wealth he got from his wife. A few skirmishes later, she finds out, sets fire to his car and causes a helicopter to crash into the village hall”.

“Shit”, Hazel was for once lost for words. “Was everyone else all right? Bob? Brenda? Your mum?”

“Yeah, they were fine, we lost Val Pollard, you know, Diane’s sister?”, Aaron looked to the table.

“God, you dun’ ‘alf get into some scrapes, Aaron,” she muttered. “And fancy man, what about him?”

“She chucked him out after he admitted to her that he loved me, and he’s been trying ever since to win back our trust. It's a bit of a rocky road, to be honest”, Aaron confessed, not wanting to talk about the perjury charge against him for Katie’s death or any of what happened at the lodge. Hazel didn't need all this worry now.

“You must love him a lot to put all that behind you”, she muttered, clearly more downbeat about something. “As long as he makes you happy, I'm happy for you, Aaron”.

“Well, I've not taken him back yet, but I couldn't imagine my life without him”, he admitted quietly, picking up on her change of mood. “Look…Hazel…I don’t stop thinking about Jackson, y’know”.

“No, no, no, I never said that you hadn’t…”, she began.

“There are days when I wake up and expect him to snoring his head off next to me, or days when I really needed him to smack me one for behaving like a prick. He’s like my moral compass, Hazel. I wouldn't know what I'd do without him, to be honest”.

Hazel had started welling up, the corners of her eyes twitching as she struggled to contain her emotions at Aaron’s admission. “It means a lot that you say that, Aaron, it really does”, she dabbed her eyes with a serviette as she looked at Aaron, his own eyes starting to sting. “Now I'm not in the village, I worry that people have forgotten my little boy buried there. I can't keep his grave looking nice, I can't continue his memory, I can't be there for him…”

Aaron took Hazel’s shaking hand as she started to sob into her scrunched up serviette, “Hazel, I promise you, he's not forgotten about. I go down with my mum and we go and make his grave look nice. Sometimes I even go down there and have a beer with him”, Hazel laughed through her tears, clutching Aaron’s hand. “I love him, Hazel”.

“I know you do”, she sniffled, trying to regain her composure as she wiped her tears away. “I know how much he meant to you, still does. It's plain to see when you talk about him. When you first got together, I said to myself, I said, ‘Hazel, that Aaron is gonna be a disaster for my boy’. And you were a little tyrant, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I had never seen Jackson like that with a boyfriend before, you made him so happy, despite everything. I'm so grateful you were there for him, and me when it mattered”.

It was Aaron’s turn to get teary, determined not to make a show of himself in public, but struggling to wipe the tears rolling down his cheeks. He smiled at Hazel, and that was enough – Hazel smiled back and they laughed through their tears, clutching their hands across the table.

Once they had calmed down a bit, Aaron thought for a moment, before saying, “Hazel…if you don't have anything on…would you wanna come and see Jackson?” It was a bit spontaneous, but it felt right, and he didn't know when he’d get to see Hazel again after this.

“When?”, Hazel looked shocked.

“Tonight? I can give you a lift up and back, you can come and make his grave all nice, say hello to a few people?”, Aaron suggested. He surprised himself with how much he had wanted to reconcile with Hazel, especially since it had been so hard to get over not having her in his life in the first place. He thought the only way to get over Jackson was never to see her again. It turned out he could have both – he had just needed time.

“Oh, I don't know, Aaron”, Hazel looked unsure. “It's very short notice, I wouldn't have anywhere to stay for the night…”

“You can stay at the Woolpack with us, Diane won't mind”, he said, not entirely sure that was true, although he’d sleep on the sofa if he had to.

"Well...only if you're sure", Hazel bit her lip, still not sure if Aaron was joking or not.

“Definitely”, Aaron smiled, glad she had accepted. “We can go pick up some overnight stuff and go up from there?”

“Okay”, Hazel replied, standing as Aaron did, looking swept up in the emotion and the excitement.

* * *

“Do you remember when we were in Spain and Jackson got chatted up by that Scouse lad when we were out on the beach?”, Hazel laughed as they sped along the motorway, away from the lights of London to the peace of the Dales. “Your face, you were not impressed. It was then that I said to myself, I said ‘Hazel, it must be love’”.

“Shut it”, he replied jokingly. “Besides, he had no hope, he was angin’, right manky git”.

“Didn't stop you from threatening to deck him if he didn't leave us alone in five seconds flat”, Hazel pointed out. “He shot off quicker than a blue arsed fly!”

“Good riddance”, Aaron laughed. “It was worth it to get Jackson’s apology grovel later on…”

“Too many details, Aaron,” Hazel scrunched up her nose in mock disgust. “That's not how I want to remember my only son, ‘making it up’ to a scruff like you”. Aaron hadn't quite meant it like that, but he couldn't deny, that part had been pretty damn good an’ all. It was just a shame that he had never truly appreciated how important that was to him before it was too late.

“Ah well, who was the one who was too chicken to do a skydive, eh? I mean, Jackson stuck around with a lad who was, as you say, ‘ ‘angin’’, and you couldn't even jump out of a plane!”, Hazel smirked as they turned off the motorway junction towards Hotten and home.

“I thought we promised never to mention that again!”, Aaron’s ears burnt with embarrassment as Hazel cackled again. “It was high up!”

“Right, so a young lad with absolutely no function over any of his limbs could jump out of a plane and enjoy it, and you couldn't?”, Hazel jibed.

“Alright, alright, it was scary!”, Aaron gave up, remember how light headed he felt when the supervisor was talking about how high the jump was, even when he had two feet on the ground. “But I didn't see you clambering to get some overalls and do it with your _only_ son!”

“I wasn't trying to pull the whole bravado macho act, though, was I?”, Hazel winked. “It was a lovely thing to arrange though, Aaron. Really romantic – I never knew you had it in you!”

“How many times do I have to tell you to put a sock in it?”, Aaron growled playfully.

“Aaron’s a romantic, Aaron’s a romantic!”, Hazel wound down the window and shouted as they sped down the A-road.

“I have shit on you, remember!”, he warned, turning the radio right up to drown her out. “I saw that belly dancing attempt in Spain, remember?”

“Nothing wrong with flaunting a bit of rhythm, Aaron!”, Hazel remarked. “Gets the blood pumping!”

“And the sick buckets out!”, Aaron muttered, just loud enough, and he earnt another cuff. They laughed, both revelling in their ease with each other. He hoped that this was the first playfight of many; he wasn’t sure he would be ready for Hazel to move back just yet, but he had missed the influence she had on his life. She had always believed he could go far, even if her beliefs were for the wrong reasons and motives. She put him in his place but encouraged his cheeky side, encouraged putting words before fists in defending himself. It was true that the relationship had gotten unhealthy in the end, both relying on each other too much when they needed to focus on themselves. But they had done that, they had moved on, for their own sakes. Their relationship was healthy again, even if the scars still flashed searing pain through Aaron occasionally. Aaron couldn't help but smile to himself as he realised how far he had come from that volatile little boy to the stronger and more self-accepting young man.

“What's tickled you?”, Hazel remarked as they pulled into the Yorkshire countryside, the signs for Emmerdale flashing by as darkness fell around the rolling hills.

“Nothing…it’s just…I've just missed you”, Aaron mumbled.

“Never had you down as one for sentimentality”, Hazel replied drily, before adding, “I've missed you too, Aaron. I've missed you telling me that my roasts are rubbish and that I've got a gob the size of Lincolnshire”.

Aaron chuckled lightly, “Well, you needed telling once everyone at the pub had fallen asleep after the first hour of constant conversation!”

“Well, I had to make up for the moody silent one over there!”, Hazel rebutted, cuffing Aaron as they pulled into the High Street. “Here we are, then”.

“Yeah…are you sure Diane said this was okay?”, Hazel asked nervously.

“Yes, Mum made sure”, Aaron assured her, not telling her about his mum’s stream of texts about whether this was a good idea or that there wasn't much room. But she had asked, and Diane had agreed, so as far as Aaron was concerned, she was staying. He got out the van as he hauled her overnight bag over his shoulder. Hazel jumped out the other side, and looked around nervously. Not much had changed, apart from where the village hall once stood, which was covered in tarpaulin and police tape. Aaron saw her grimace as she imagined the pain and suffering that had happened not long ago.

Like her pain and suffering. Like her grief, her enormous sense of loss. Aaron couldn't imagine what was going through her mind, watching her as the memories of what had happened flashing before her eyes. He saw her turn slightly towards the door of the van, hand on the door handle, as if she wanted to go straight back to London. Then she turned back and looked Aaron in the eye.

Taking a deep breath, she uttered, “I’m ready to go in, Aaron”.


	2. Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Hazel arrive at The Woolpack to a mixed reception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied - it turned out I had a lot more to say than I thought about this story, so you lucky guys get a third chapter. But after that, that's definitely it! However, I've not ruled out making this mini-story canon with another of my current stories...I really like writing for Hazel and I think she has a good influence on Aaron. I've not decided though. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! :)

They made their way slowly towards the entrance of the pub, Aaron slowing as Hazel moved apprehensively, her fear written across her face. Aaron went for the door and held it open as Hazel shuffled inside, taking another deep breath as she pushed through the second set of doors into the bustling pub. It was a Friday night, so the pub was always busier than the rest of the working week. As Aaron followed, he could see all of the villagers turn around and stop talking as they spotted who had come through. Some of them hadn't recognised her, but those that did sat with mouths agape.

“Hi, everyone”, she shuffled nervously, a shadow of how she had been just ten minutes ago in the car.

“Hazel!”, Bob got up from where he had been sitting with Brenda, his face lit up. “You never said you were coming back!” He embraced her as she smiled at him, clearly happy to see her old friend again.

“You know me, I'm like an evil boomerang, coming back when you least expect it”, she joked nervously as Aaron went to put her overnight bag in the back of the pub. “How you been?”

“Erm, not so bad”, Aaron heard Bob replying, obviously not in the mood to relive his prison ordeal with her just yet. “How long are you staying?”

“Just the night, I met young Aaron in Islington and he convinced me to come visit Jackson”, Hazel smiled sadly. “I’ll be back down in a minute, I've just got to go and thank Diane for the room…”

Aaron came back out into the pub as Hazel shuffled round to the staff side of the bar, motioning Aaron to go back in.

“I don't know if I can do this, Aaron”, she confessed, looking visibly affected. “It's all coming back to me, like the night before Jackson died and he had all his friends and family in the pub. I can see it, it's like a ghost”.

“I know, Hazel”, Aaron grimaced. Now that he had moved on and accepted his grief, he knew he had to be strong for Hazel too. “I used to see it too, every day. But you can do it, you have to”.

“I know, I know”, she moaned. “Since when you were the emotionally stable one?”, she jibed nervously.

“Since I had to be”, Aaron grimaced again. “Come on, I’ll be there”.

Hazel nodded, but before they could move, Diane came down from upstairs.

“Ey, welcome back, pet, lovely to see you”, Diane smiled as she gave Hazel a quick embrace.

“Thanks, Diane”, Hazel did her best to put a brave face on, “and thanks so much for the room at short notice, I promise I'll keep out the way”.

“Not at all, pet”, Diane shook her head. “You’re welcome to visit anytime, stay as long as you like. The guest room’s all made up for you when you're ready”.

Hazel just smiled her appreciation as Diane disappeared behind the bar again. Clutching onto Aaron’s hand again, she nodded silently to indicate that she was ready. She breathed in again, and led Aaron out into the pub.

“Cheeky glass of red, on the house, pet”, Diane smiled as she poured Hazel a large glass of red wine and plonked it on the bar, Hazel thanking her as she sat down. Aaron reached for his own pint and sat next to her, feeling self conscious for Hazel’s sake, hoping that his mother wouldn't come barging in reading the Riot Act to her.

Bob and Brenda had made their way over and sat down on the stools to Hazel’s side, Brenda looking somewhat less excited to see Hazel than Bob. It wasn't long until Hazel was back in her stride again, telling them all about the young Argentine waiter, Bob nodding in awe with Brenda looking on in indignation.

It didn't take long for the tranquility to break. However, to Aaron’s surprise, it wasn't his mum that had ruined the peace, but the arrival of Vic and Robert from upstairs. Robert was living with Diane now, not making matters any easier for Aaron. As soon as Vic turned the corner, she saw Hazel and darted over.

“Hazel, I can't believe you're here!”, she cried, giving her hug and almost knocking Hazel off her stool entirely. “Sorry”, she added as Hazel regained her balance.

“It was nice to see you until you tried to kill me!”, Hazel rebutted playfully. “Congrats on the marriage, by the way, Aaron was telling me on the way up”.

“Thanks”, Vic smiled as Robert moved cautiously towards where Hazel and Aaron were sitting. Aaron looked round to Hazel as he watched her eyes move away from Vic and towards the tall blond bastard walking slowly towards them.

“And you must be the famous Robert”, Hazel noted drily. “You weren't about when me and Jackson lived here, were you?”

“No,” Robert replied, Aaron watching him scratching his knee under Hazel’s scornful gaze. “I only moved back about a year ago”, he added.

“Yeah, with that fancy woman and her cash”, Hazel sniffed, taking another sip from her wine glass. “Aaron’s been telling me all about you. I’m Hazel, by the way, Jackson’s mum”.

“Yeah, Aaron’s told me about you”, Robert answered, struggling to give her eye contact. “Nice to meet you”, Robert looked up, thought about offering a handshake, but clearly thought better of it when Aaron saw Hazel raise her eyebrows.

“Wish I could say the same for you”, she retorted, turning back on her stool away from Robert. “You’ve been nothing but trouble for Aaron since you got back”.  
Aaron kept his mouth shut and looked down to his pint, knowing there was no stopping Hazel once scorned.

“I know but it's not like...”, Robert was desperately trying to swallow a sarky remark, and instead finished, “…and I'm trying to do right by him so he can see that I can be good for him”.

“Well try harder then”, Hazel didn't turn as she took another sip. Admitting defeat, Robert thundered off, head dipped in frustration.

“I better follow him…”, Vic mumbled apologetically and followed her brother to a table nearer the corner.

“Alright, love, see you”, Hazel smiled slightly, turning to Aaron as Vic disappeared. “God, he looks like he’s got a face like a kick in the bollocks”, she remarked, looking at Robert’s thunderstruck expression. “But whatever floats your boat, Aaron”.

Aaron just grunted acknowledgement, not wanting to disagree despite everything he had told Hazel about their chequered past. He wished she could see him when he was alone with Robert, in the early days of their affair. He wished he could show her the tenderness and affection that Robert was capable of, how he would take Aaron by his waist and pull him closer, making all of the bad and evil fizzle into insignificance. The only things that mattered then were the soft warm breath Aaron could feel on the nape of his neck and the aftershave Robert always wore to impress him.

“Right, Aaron, where is she?”, Aaron was pulled kicking and screaming from his thoughts by the unmistakable shrill of his mother from the entrance of the pub. _Great, more fucking agro…_

“Hi, Chas”, Hazel tried to calm the situation with a smile as Chas came storming round to the staff side of the bar.

“Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone”, Chas demanded, leaning in over the beer taps so that she was a whisper in front of Hazel’s nose. “Our Aaron’s been so strong recently, and now you're back to bring that crashing down”.

“What's that supposed to mean?”, Aaron spat quietly, not wanting to cause a scene. “I invited her here!”

“That didn't mean she couldn't say no!”, Chas protested back, Aaron glaring at her piercing eyes, willing him to agree. “She knew how hard it was for you to let go of her and Jackson, she’s just being selfish!”

Hazel muttered something under her breath, but Aaron couldn't quite make it out.

“If you got something to contribute, love, say it to my bloody face!”, Chas barked, causing heads to turn across the pub.

“You don't have a bloody clue!”, Hazel retorted, looking Chas back straight in the eye. “If anyone hasn't been strong, it's been me! Aaron almost had drag me kicking and screaming back in when we got here, I just wanted to hide. You should be proud of how far he’s come, not having him wrapped up in cotton wool when he can look after himself!”

Refusing to take any more of the abuse, Aaron watched as Hazel downed the rest of her wine, jumped off her stool, and went to leave to go up to her room, her eyes on Chas as she walked past.

“Oh well done, Mum”, Aaron rushed off behind her, leaving his pint and concerned faces behind as he ran up the stairs behind Hazel. _Why the hell did she have to keep poking her nose in all the fucking time?_ He knew that she cared about him too much to not have some say, but the reason he had been going well recently was because he had accepted the past, not because he had been hiding from it. He had accepted what had happened with Robert, and was giving him another chance on his own terms. He had accepted what had happened with Jackson, and was able to relish the positive memories of his time with him and his mum. His mum had to accept he had grown up; whilst he never wanted her to get out her nose out entirely, Aaron knew he had to lay down some boundaries sooner or later.

Aaron had left Hazel for a few minutes when he had followed her upstairs to let her cool down. After a few minutes, he went up to the guest room and knocked lightly on the door.

“Hazel?”, Aaron called softly. “It’s Aaron…can I come in?”

Aaron waited until he heard reluctant footsteps come from the other side of the door, the door swinging open as a troubled Hazel appeared.

“Your mum’s right, this was a terrible idea”, Hazel began. “I’m gonna get a taxi to Hotten and stay in a hotel, and get the train back down tomorrow morning”.

“You can't do that”, Aaron pressed, feeling guilty that she had gotten such a frosty reception when he had invited her. “It's half ten and there won't be many cheap rooms. Come on, at least stay til the morning? It'd be silly to leave when you've come such a long way?”

Hazel pouted in thought and then nodded slowly, “Okay, I’ll stay. I think I’ll turn in though, get an early night”.

Aaron smiled shyly, “Thanks, Hazel, it means a lot”.

“No problem,” Hazel replied. “And…thanks…for everything. I know it couldn't have been easy to see me in that caff. I know all of those memories must have come flooding back, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had legged it as soon as you saw me. Thanks…for giving me another chance”.

“Like I said, I missed you”, Aaron said simply. “Thanks for coming”, he added.

“Come on, gi’ ‘s a goodnight hug, then”, Hazel opened her arms, getting a bit more sparkle back as she chuckled when Aaron looked less than impressed.

“You'd be lucky”, Aaron raised his eyebrows playfully, before huffing and adding, “Fine, no one’s looking”. He gave her a small hug, both saying goodnight as they parted. Hazel shut the door behind her and Aaron gave a smile.

* * *

Aaron struggled to get to sleep that night. There was a lot of commotion as people banged around the house, even well into the night. Deciding he needed the loo, he treated lightly across the room, put a pair of jogging bottoms on, and went towards the toilet.

As he went to pull the handle of the toilet door, he stopped when he heard voices from the living room. Straining to hear from the landing, he tiptoed to the living room door and listened.

“You didn't exactly endear yourself to me when you came swanning around from the back”, the unmistakeable voice of Hazel came from the other room. “Although Aaron had done a good enough job of painting a shitty picture of you as it is”.

“I know,” the other voice admitted. Aaron’s heart missed a beat – it was Robert. Craning his head further, he listened to Robert add, “I don't know how to shake the past. I do my best, but I don’t think Aaron can look past my mistakes and see the real me”.

“Well, I don't know the ins and outs, but it sounds like some of them are pretty hard to put aside”, Hazel pointed out candidly. “When Aaron told me about you, I said to myself, I said ‘Hazel, Aaron dun’ ‘alf get into some scrapes, that lad’. At least my Jackson never blew up Aaron’s car…”.

“Then how can I make Aaron see that I'm worth being in his life?”, Robert moaned glumly.

“You can't make Aaron do anything he doesn't want to do”, Hazel remarked pointedly. “It's up to him what he wants to do, and if he wants a life without you, you're gonna have to put with that”.

“I guess…”, Robert mumbled. “And I know I'm nothing like Jackson was with Aaron…”

“Hah, you got that right!”, Hazel chimed in.

“And I know that after everything I've done I don't deserve a second chance…but I can't help but love the guy, Hazel”, Robert sounded desperate, as if arguing with himself about his own worthiness. “I’m trying so hard to get him to love me again, I just want to know that I’m his again. I’d do anything to be his”.

Hazel sighed, sounding reluctant to give Robert some comfort, but replied, “For what it's worth…Aaron admitted that he didn't know what he’d do without you in his life, whatever that means. And he said he was giving you a chance to prove yourself…so he must really love you if he’s willing to put all that past behind him. You just need to give him some time, and see where it goes”.

“Thanks,” Robert answered softly. “I know it can't be easy for you to see Aaron having moved on, especially with a little shit like me”.

“Well, I can’t say you're who I'd like Aaron to be with if he couldn't be with my Jackson”, Hazel said, “but you love him. And I think he loves you, too. If he chooses you, you just need to make sure you’re there for him. No more monkey business, I can see right through you”.

Hearing some footsteps from in the living room, Aaron made a quick escape back to his room, being careful not to step on the creaky floors and completely forgetting his trip to the loo. Somehow it made everything more real when Robert professed his love for Aaron to someone else. Granted, Hazel wasn't sticking around, so it was someone temporary to entrust his secret to, but Robert had told someone else that he loved him. To Aaron, that was one of the most selfless things he had ever done.

Of course, Aaron knew he had selfish motives. But he knew how hard it had been for Robert to openly profess his sexuality and his love for Aaron, and now Robert had so rawly and frankly admitted that he needed him. Robert needed him. Robert loved him. Robert had chosen him. Now it was just Aaron being the one choosing not to love Robert. The onus was on him, not on Robert. There had been ups and downs, that was for sure; Robert had expected a bit much too soon in the beginning, and Aaron knew he had to put himself first. He had no intention of stopping looking after himself first. But now he knew he was strong enough to look after himself, his own feelings, his own heartbreaks. He knew he was ready for a healthy relationship, ready to receive the love he knew he deserved. And whilst he knew Robert would continue to make mistakes, Aaron could take it. He could live with it. Because Robert had chosen Aaron. And Aaron was going to choose Robert.

Climbing back into bed, he sighed as he stripped back down to his undies and pulled the sheets over him. Taking an armful of the duvet in his embrace, he huffed slowly as he closed his eyes, wishing he could smell Robert’s aftershave from across the bed. He wished he could feel his skin meet Robert’s in a cool ripple of static, rolling like thunder across the hairs on Aaron’s legs and arms. Hell, he wouldn't even mind if he could smell one of Robert’s post-curry farts; anything to have him close to the man he knew he loved and wanted. Tomorrow, he would fix things – no more time would be wasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that. It was a bit shorter than the first chapter, but a lot happens in the next one, so it felt like this was a good place to stop for now. Don't forget to kudos or send a comment - I really love hearing what you think of where the story is going, so please let me know in the comments section. Thanks for reading :)
> 
> PS - also big shoutout to all the readers from Tumblr! I don't have a Tumblr, but I follow the fandom there and there's loads of talented writers there! Keep up the good work!


	3. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hazel and Aaron visit Jackson's grave, and last night's events give Aaron food for thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the end! Still considering to make this canon with Bit By Bit, but I'm not too sure yet. I hope you enjoy this mega chapter - I kinda need this story over but I had so much to say. I hope you all enjoy it.

Sirens and bells whirred through Aaron’s head from all around, throttling his senses. Groggy, it took him a few seconds to realise what was going on before he realised – the building was on fire! He couldn't see any smoke or feel any heat lapping on his door just yet, but the deafening smoke alarm pounded in his head like boxing gloves. Quickly sticking his jogging bottoms, a t shirt and a pair of trainers on, he picked up an old jumper, ready to shield himself from the flames.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the handle with his jumper, not wanting to scald himself with the metal handle. The handle wasn’t hot to Aaron’s touch, thankfully, and he pushed the handle down and left his room, breath baited in anticipation. He saw smoke billowing out from down the stairs, in the direction of the kitchen. Just then, Robert and Diane came rushing out of their rooms, equally as worried.

“What the hell is going on?”, Diane exclaimed as she did up her dressing gown, her hair all over the place for just having got up herself. “How long’s the alarm been on?”

“I dunno”, Aaron confessed as Hazel drowsily came from the guest room, not entirely awake from her half shut eyes. “I've only just woken up m’self”.

“What's going on?”, Hazel mumbled. “Five seconds ago I was being massaged on a glorious Mexican beach by this masseur called Juan…”

Robert led Aaron, Diane, and a half asleep Hazel down the stairs onto the landing, smoke pouring out of the kitchen-cum-living room door, which was slightly ajar. Waiting a second to gather himself, Robert pushed through the door and into the smoky room. Coughing as he pushed his way through the smoke, Aaron heard choking and swearing from the kitchen worktop, all becoming clear as he approached.

“Shit, shit, shit”, Chas was hissing and coughing as she opened the kitchen windows and tried to push through all the smoke from the burning hob and toaster.

“Mum?”, Aaron coughed, pushing forward to help switch off all the appliances and get rid of the smoke. “What the frig are you doing?”

“Cremating a sausage, what the hell do you think it bloody looks like?”, Chas shot back, finally getting the channel of dissipating smoke through the window.

“Since when did you make big breakfasts like this?”, Aaron replied with incredulity – this was completely unheard of from Chas, who barely touched a toaster in the morning for herself (despite constantly harassing Aaron to eat something before work).

“It was supposed to be a surprise”, Chas moaned dejectedly. “Diane gave me a dressing down after I made a scene in the pub with you and ‘Azel, so I thought I'd make it up by cooking youse a nice cooked breakfast”.

Aaron grimaced pitifully as Robert had finally managed to turn the alarm off by standing on a chair and frantically pressing the buttons on the alarm.

“Well, it'd help if you didn't try to char the kitchen first”, Diane brushed past as she collected the pots and pans from the worktop and put them in the sink to be scrubbed.

“Well, you know me…gob in front of m’ brain as always”, Chas mumbled apologetically. “I’m sorry, Hazel, I was bang out of line”.

Aaron saw Hazel smile her appreciation at her apology, but still looked as though she didn't really know what was going on.

“Come on, I'll see what I can do with this mess”, Diane announced, meaning ‘everyone get out of my kitchen now’ – everyone did as they were told pretty quickly. Everyone looked pretty tired – it looked like everyone had had a poor night’s sleep, which explained why Aaron had caught Hazel and Robert talking late last night.

“I only got to sleep about three last night”, Hazel yawned as she sat down at the table. “Up and down like Simon Says on speed”.

“Was it the bed?”, Diane called from the hob, her back to the rest of them, Chas leaving the room to get dressed and sort out her smoked out face.

“No, that was gorgeous, thanks, Diane”, Hazel replied. “A lot of people up last night, though. Must have been something in the air”.

“Yeah, I heard that”, Aaron mused knowingly, although didn't mention that he had listened to Hazel and Robert’s conversation. Getting up to make some tea, he looked round to Robert as the latter went to sit down at the table, having put on a t shirt and pyjama bottoms (much to Aaron’s hidden disappointment). “D’you want some tea, Robert?”

Robert jumped in his seat, not expecting Aaron to even ask, “Erm…y-yeah, that'd be great, ta, Aaron”.

“Hazel? Diane?”, Aaron asked as he got mugs down from the cupboard. The two nodded their pleases, and Aaron leant against the cupboard, waiting for the kettle to boil after popping tea bags in each of the mugs. “So…Hazel, what did you want to do this morning with…flowers for the grave and stuff?”

“We could go and get some nice flowers from the corner shop after breakfast?”, Hazel suggested, falling a little more sombre as she remembered why she had come back.

“That’d be nice”, Aaron grimaced, the smell of bacon wafting from the pan as Diane started to plate up. Once the kettle had boiled, Aaron poured the hot water into each of the mugs, and brought them over to the table along with the milk and sugar pots. As he placed Robert’s mug down on the table, Aaron half-accidentally brushed Robert’s arm, almost spilling the tea, a jolt of magnetism taking Aaron’s breath away. Aaron saw Robert jolting his head to look at Aaron from the corner of his eye, but he had already moved onto Hazel. He smirked lightly to himself as he felt his heart pound in his chest.

“Grub’s up”, Diane brought the plates of full Englishes over from the worktop, Aaron feeling Robert’s shocked gaze as they tucked in.

* * *

The sound of scraping cutlery had filled the silence that hung comfortably over the breakfast table. This was infinitely better than anything Chas could have concocted, so Aaron was eventually grateful that the alarm had halted that taste travesty.

“That was gorgeous, Diane”, Hazel complimented as she put her cutlery down on her clean plate. “I said to myself, I said, ‘Hazel, anyone who can cook sausages to perfection must be a demigoddess’”.

“Thanks, pet”, Diane smiled as she collected the empty plates around the table. Aaron watched Diane glance at Chas looking a little glum. “Although, of course, Chas’s would have been gorgeous, too, I bet”.

Everyone murmured their unsure agreement, until Chas replies, “Alright, you sarcastic lot!” Everyone chuckled as she left the table, saying thanks to Diane as she went past.

“Right, I'm gonna go get ready”, Hazel clapped her legs as she got up. “I’ll be ready by half ten, Aaron”, she said as she walked past Aaron to leave the room, Aaron murmuring his acknowledgement.

“I'm gonna get ready too”, Diane spoke as she placed the plates on the draining board. “Do you think you two can not fight and clean this up?”

“Sure”, Aaron assured her as he got up, seeing Robert’s less than sure expression. This hadn't been the first time Aaron and Robert had washed up together, and that had ended poorly. Aaron wasn't going to let it happen though, not this time. He knew what he wanted.

Picking up the scourer and the dirty plates, he called over to Robert, “You dry, I wash”. Robert followed, cautiously picking up the first clean plate and wiping it round. There was a lot of washing up to be done, so Aaron had a lot of time to think about what he wanted to say. After he had finished washing the second plate, Aaron turned to Robert and looked him in the eyes.

“Robert”, he began, “…it would mean a lot if you could, y’know…come with us down to the grave”.

Robert stood there in shock for a few moments, before replying, “I wouldn't want to intrude on you two, it's a pretty personal moment”.

“Well then come down later, then, when I've dropped Hazel back off in London?”, Aaron was determined to sort this out before he lost his chance. “I never introduced you to him, after all”.

“Even though he would have hated my guts?”, Robert pointed out, half-joking.

“Well, I'll stand between ya if it gets nasty”, Aaron joked as he passed Robert a glass to dry, Robert laughing softly. Aaron smiled shyly, feeling warm in his heart and energy through his veins as he looked into Robert’s slightly unbelieving eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him to kingdom come, but he was having fun teasing Robert – more than easy payback for what Robert had put Aaron through over all these months.

He would wait – and make it all the more special later on.

* * *

After Aaron had showered and put on his best plain white shirt and grey hoodie, he met Hazel on the landing. She was staring blankly into thin air, jumping with shock as Aaron put his hand on her shoulder when she wasn't responding to his shouts.

“God, Aaron, you'll be the death of me”, she remarked, all shook up.

“Hazel, if you can't do this, we don't have to go”, Aaron murmured, hoping she could pull through this.

“No, I have to”, she replied, her voice shaking slightly. She breathed in, straightened her back, and took in some breath. “I've come all this way, I have to go and see him”.

“Okay”, Aaron grimaced, taking the lead down the stairs and through the pub. Diane was filling up the beer taps as they walked through the staff entrance and towards the exit.

“Good luck”, she called, Aaron lifting his hand in thanks, but Hazel kept walking, gaunt.

They walked slowly towards the corner shop, their breath escaping like spirits and evaporating into the cold November air. In the peace and serenity, Aaron’s senses were on overdrive, the scraping of the gravel on their feet piercing his ears, the sunshine hanging low in the winter sky blinding him. He was relieved when he finally reached the shop, sheltered from the sun and by conversation from inside the shop.

After some deliberation, Hazel decided on a bunch of white tulips that could stand against the winter cold (Aaron just nodding absentmindedly, not the least bit interested by specific types of flowers, just that there were flowers on there). The walk towards the grave grew slower and slower, Hazel visibly slowing down as the village cemetery came into view around the corner. Aaron could hear Hazel faintly whispering something under her breath as they edged towards the gate, but knew that they were private thoughts, just like the ones swirling around in his own head.

Aaron had got used to this trip by now, going every month or so just to make sure Jackson wasn’t forgotten about. Sometimes he’d take a couple of pints, and he’d sneakily pour some of the can of beer into one of the flower holders when Edna wasn’t looking, like he used to before he went to France. He felt closer to him then than when he went with his mum to tidy up the grave and put nice flowers on, or even when he went on his own just to check on him. It felt almost like just two lads in love sharing a beer and a very one-sided conversation (and that was pretty silent when Aaron was leading the conversation…).

But this felt different, made Aaron feel a bit more apprehensive. He didn't know how he was gonna react when Hazel inevitably would start sobbing, and he didn't know if he'd set himself back a bit in his recovery. But this had to happen sooner or later, and there was only one way to find out.

Aaron led Hazel through the maze of tombstones to Jackson’s, a few rows down from the entrance. The September marigolds were well and truly moribund, and Hazel immediately got to work fixing up his grave whilst Aaron watched. He’d never know the fine art of flower arranging, nor did he really care. What mattered was that Jackson was remembered like he deserved to be.

Hazel spent a long time making sure the grave looked good and proper, even going so far as to wipe the grave down with her coat sleeve. Once she had finally got it into a state she could approve of, she stood back to survey her work.

“There we are, Jackson”, Hazel spoked softly. “As soon as I saw you, I said to myself, I said, ‘Hazel, Jackson’s clearly still not good at scrubbing up, he needs a mother’s touch’. Aaron’s obviously never heard of a paper towel”. Aaron rolled his eyes as Hazel continued, “I’m…I’m sorry I've not come and visited you in so long, Jackson. What with the travelling, and then coming back and forth, and staying out of Aaron’s way, it's been tricky.

“But I've never stopped thinking about you”, Hazel sniffled, reaching into her pocket for a tissue as she placed her other hand on Jackson’s tombstone. “Every day I've thought about you and what you're up to. Knowing you, you'll still be at the gates telling God a few jokes before he let you in”, Aaron and Hazel both chuckled, Aaron starting to tear up himself, dabbing his eyes with the corners of his hoodie sleeves. Aaron never really did any of that God shit, but he liked the thought of Jackson still making people laugh and smile long after he had passed away. “You're always in my heart, love, wherever I am. You'll always be my little baby boy, dancing round his room to Chesney. Sweet dreams, love”.

Hazel collapsed into Aaron’s arms, her tears falling more freely as he returned the embrace, Hazel looking physically exhausted from thinking about Jackson. Tears rolled down Aaron’s face too, but for him, he was thinking about all the great times they had shared, learning to block out the horror of the last few months. He thought about the first night they had shared together, and their time in Spain with Hazel. He thought about Whitby and the skydive, knowing that he had fulfilled one of Jackson’s dreams even though he still wanted to die. Aaron’s chest burst with all the pride and love that he was too hard shelled to admit out loud, but he let himself bathe in its warmth as Hazel sobbed into his shoulder.

When Hazel had finally got all of the tears out of her system, she let go of Aaron and wiped her face with her tissue, giving Aaron a tissue to wipe himself down as well. There was a long silence, Aaron letting himself feel Jackson’s presence, smiling at how grateful he was to have met him.

Eventually, Hazel picked up her bag and turned to Aaron, “I’m ready to leave if you are”, she smiled sadly. When Aaron nodded, she placed her hand on the tombstone one last time and whispered, “I love you, Jackson”, before turning and walking before she changed her mind.

“Love ya, mate”, Aaron smiled as he rubbed the tombstone, knowing he’d be back later. He caught up with Hazel who had almost made it to the gate, the wind picking up a bit as though Jackson was saying goodbye, almost pushing them out of the cemetery and letting them move on with their lives.

“How was that?”, Aaron asked as they walked on the grassy bank, a tractor trundling past and dropping hay along the road.

“Erm…hard”, Hazel confessed. “But worth it to see my boy again. I feel like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can leave here knowing that Jackson feels remembered and looked after now”.

Aaron nodded, glad that he hadn't damaged Hazel any more by dragging her back up to where so many bad memories took place. He noticed how Hazel seemed a little lighter in her step, a grief-afflicted smile appreciating the sound of the leaves scraping along the path, the tougher birds staying in Britain for the winter chirping innocently on the stone wall. Aaron remembered how he had felt once he had managed to accept the cold hand of history and embrace its power, how much freer he felt to live for himself and for Jackson. He wondered whether it had only been today when Hazel could experience it too. He hoped that she could.

They had made it back to the Woolpack just in time for lunch, the smell of roast dinners emanating deliciously from the pub’s warm wooden doors. A few punters had settled down already; Laurel and Ashley were sat in the corner, the pair becoming ever closer now that Laurel’s relationship with Marlon was officially over. Adam and Victoria were sat at the bar talking to Diane when Aaron and Hazel walked over to them, Adam giving Aaron a brotherly hug as they greeted.

“Sorry, mate”, Adam started, “I didn’t get your text about Hazel until after I got back from that last minute job down Wakefield, I would've popped in for a pint otherwise. Y’alright, Hazel?”

“Hi, love”, Hazel replied, beaming in obvious compensation for the raw feelings she still felt coming back from the cemetery. “I hear congratulations are in order?”

“How did you know about the job in Wakefield?”, Adam looked shocked.

Aaron put his face in his hand, “She means you getting married, ya pillock!”

“Oh, right, ta, Hazel”, Adam brushed his fringe back in embarrassment as Hazel chuckled.

“What are you doing now, Hazel?”, Diane asked, one hand on the beer pump with Zak asking impatiently for a top up.

“Well, I'd better get my things together, if Aaron’s ready to drive me back?”, Hazel made a move towards the staff entrance.

“Are you sure you can't stay for another night?”, Diane asked. “We’ve got the room and it's a long drive after not much sleep?”

“I wouldn't wanna intrude on you”, Hazel answered. “It was bad enough on the short notice just for last night!”

“Nonsense!”, Diane retorted. “It's no problem at all, and Bob was asking after you. I think he wanted a proper catch up, he looked a bit crestfallen that you weren't here”.

“Only if you're absolutely sure”, Hazel wanted to make clear, Aaron noting how uncomfortable she was.

“Of course, sit down and I'll get you something to drink”, Diane called from the wine shelf as Hazel walked unsurely back to the stool, repeating her gratitude for the hospitality.

Suddenly, Chas appeared downstairs from the back. Aaron tensed slightly in spite of Chas’s attempt at an apology breakfast earlier.

“Is our Aaron back yet?”, she called from the entrance to living quarters, “I just wanna have a quick chat”.

“I'm over here, Mum”, he replied with a grunt, not altogether looking forward to what she had to say, knowing he had to speak to her about boundaries sooner or later. She beckoned him to come up to the living room, now thankfully clear of the smoke from earlier.

“Sit down, love, I'll pour us a brew”, she motioned to the settee as she poured the hot water into the mugs.

“What's this about?”, Aaron asked, tensely sat on the settee, coat still done up.

“It's about last night, love”, she began, bringing the two hot mugs over and placing them on the coffee table. “Hazel and Diane both knocked a bit of sense into me, and they're right. I am smothering you a bit, but it's only because I care, Aaron. You're growing up, but you're still my little boy. The one who used to solve things with his fists rather than his gob, the one who used to hurt himself when shit hit the fan. But maybe I've got to accept that you're a bit stronger than I give you credit for, love. You've been a rock for Hazel over the last couple of days, I'm really proud of you”.

Aaron dipped his head in shyness, finding the gushing praise a bit unnecessary. Still, he was glad that his mum had finally realised he could look after himself a bit more. “Thanks, Mum”, he responded. “I know it's only cos you care”.

“You have come a long way”, Chas remarked. “You never would have said that before France”.

“Maybe it was the French always bein' so emotional that got to me, then”, he shot back, still not really seeing himself as very emotional, despite all his achievements.

“Well then, you'll be alright with your only mother giving you a big ol’ kiss on the cheek!”, Chas cackled as Aaron writhed underneath his mum’s playful advances.

“Oi, geroff me!!”, he grumbled as she fought for a hug, Aaron finally giving in as Chas managed to give the wettest kiss she could muster.

“Ew, get a room, you two!”, Hazel shouted as she walked to put her bag back in her room. Aaron finally managed to wriggle out and away, mumbling a thanks to his cackling mother and took his tea back up to his room.

* * *

As night fell on the village, the butterflies in Aaron’s stomach grew more and more, anxious to finally forgive Robert and focus on the future. Never the type for mushy displays of affection, he knew tonight would be a good night to do it, visiting Jackson, and he knew exactly how he wanted it to happen.

Promising Diane that he would be back for Hazel’s impromptu party later on, he told her he was getting a chippy tea with Robert and would be going out for an hour or so beforehand. Now it was just telling Robert what was going to happen and all would be set.

He knocked on the door, calling his name impatiently. He heard hurried footsteps as Robert flung open the door.

“What's wrong?”, he asked, looking around the landing frantically.

“Nowt, I just wanted to know if you wanted a chippy tea before going to see Jackson”, Aaron replied sheepishly. _So much for not coming on too fucking strong…_

“Oh,” Robert sighed, rubbing his hairline in relief. “I thought it was gonna be a family toad in the hole for tea before Hazel’s party?”

“Well then, we’re just gonna have to skive, then, aren't we?”, Aaron was already turning to leave to get ready. “Meet me here in ten. Oh, and Robert?”

“Yes?”, Robert reopened the door as Aaron called his name.

“Bring some beer”.

* * *

 _Oh that's gorgeous. Right there. Oh God, that looks fucking beautiful._ Aaron licked his lips in hunger, having waited so long to be able to taste this sweet flavour again. He could feel the need bubbling inside him, making him tense. His fingers itched to move, wanting to get his hands on all of it as soon as he could. Finally…

“You alright, Aaron?”, Robert scrunched his nose quizzically. “You've been staring at your gravy and chips for the past two minutes”.

“Yeah, but you didn't get to eat that fucking travesty down South on Friday, did you?”, Aaron shot back, digging into his tea, Robert giggling at the rate Aaron was getting through it now he had broken the trance.

The two were sat on a bench outside a chip shop, Aaron’s chips smothered with gravy, Robert’s with mushy peas. In between their legs, a six pack of beer. Aaron felt comforted already, and they weren't even touching. Just being in his presence made Aaron feel like every sense was on high alert, waiting for something from Robert. Now that he had let himself feel his love for the blond knobhead, he no longer felt the pain of the past coming to haunt him.

“Why did you want to bring beer when we could get free beer from the Woolpack?”, Robert asked as he tucked into his pie.

“You'll see when we go and visit Jackson”, Aaron pressed, not wanting to give too much away. “Don't get the hype about mushy peas, although anything’s better than having fuck all on it”.

“If I wanted gravy on potato, I’d have a roast dinner!”, Robert rebutted, happy to change the subject if it meant him winning an argument. “Plus mushy peas don’t make the chips go all soggy”.

“What's the point in a dry chip, though?”, Aaron retorted. “Might as well just have a bag of crisps”.

“It isn't dry, though, they're just less soggy!”, Robert pressed, determined not to lose.

“Meh, you'll never convert me”, Aaron smirked.

“I wouldn't want to”, Robert replied, more softly. “There's nothing I’d change about you. Not even your shitty fashion sense”.

“ _My_ shitty fashion sense?”, Aaron exclaimed. “Last time I checked, lilac seaweed was not a real shirt pattern”.

“Oi, you love me in those shirts”, Robert smirked. “I look a damn sight more exciting than you do!”

“Do you now?” Aaron growled playfully. “Well, eat up, we’ve got places to be, Mr Exciting”.

Robert looked intrigued, but didn't argue, eating the rest of his chips as Aaron put his empty wrapper in the bin.

* * *

“Why did you want me to come tonight?”, Robert asked after a comfortable silence, the pair walking down the road to the cemetery, beer in hand. “I thought you'd want to spend all your time with Hazel, and we haven't been getting on recently”.

“Maybe”, Aaron shrugged. “But I thought about shit last night and there’s no time like the present, so…”

“Works for me”, Robert smiled honestly. “Wait, what shit?”

“…I heard you and Hazel last night when I came down for a piss”, Aaron confessed, stopping by the gate.

“Oh”, was all Robert could reply with. “I’m…I’m sorry you had to hear that, I wish I could have told you all that to your face and shi-“

“No”, Aaron interrupted him. “It was good, I'm glad I heard you telling someone else. It made it real, it made your feelings feel real. I thought you were really brave actually”, Aaron looked down at the floor, not altogether comfortable with all the softness. He looked up again to see Robert grinning from ear to ear, looking like a football-mad boy who’s just been told he was going to be England captain.

“Aaron, I don't want to rush you into anything”, he breathed, “but I just wanted to know if I ever could feel like I could be yours again. To give me hope”.

Aaron smiled back, but replied coyly, “You’ll just have to wait and see. Come on”, he turned towards the gate slightly, and held out his hand slightly, motioning for Robert to take it. The whole romance of the encounter made Aaron buzz and want to feel sick in equal measure, but before he could withdraw the offer, Robert had grabbed hold gently, slipping his long fingers into Aaron’s shorter ones, fitting perfectly into Aaron’s grasp. He felt Robert’s warmth transfer through his hand and up through his arms, his fingers tingling with euphoria. His mouth began to match the grin that was plastered across Robert’s face, Robert’s eyes twinkling with love and gratitude as Aaron led him through the gate and into the cemetery.

Even though the cemetery was only lit by a few lights around the outside of the courtyard, Aaron could find Jackson’s grave with ease. Once they got to Jackson’s grave, Aaron took his phone out his pocket, put the torch feature on, and sat down, still holding Robert’s hand as he followed suit.

“Pass us the beer a sec”, Aaron pointed to the beer Robert had set down on the other side of him, Robert passing him the pack. Aaron undid the plastic packaging and pulled out one for himself, and gave one to Robert.

“Still don't get why we’re drinking here and not in the Woolpack”, Robert giggled softly as he pulled the tab on his can and took a swig.

“Well, if Jackson’s having a drink, he’s not drinking on his own”, Aaron said matter-of-factly, pulling the tab on a third can and promptly emptying the can’s contents all over the grass of Jackson’s grave. “Get that down ya, lad”.

“You cannot be fucking serious!”, Robert answered in shock, half-laughing with surprise, his eyes open wide.

“Deathly”, Aaron looked into Robert’s eyes and Robert shut up, although not managing to contain a smirk of disbelief.

“Aren't you gonna introduce me then?”, Robert probed mock-impatiently, taking another swig.

“Right, well, Robert, this is Jackson”, Aaron patted the ground beside him. “Jackson, this is Robert, the cheeky blond bastard”.

“Oi!”, Robert cuffed Aaron with his free hand. “I must have some redeeming qualities for you to be sat here holding m’ hand!”

“Alright, cheeky blond tall bastard”, Aaron jibed, earning another push from Robert. “Nah, he's alright once you’re used to him. A bit of a bastard getting there, but once you're in deep, he’s fucking got you”. Aaron looked to Robert, who was biting his lip in apprehension.

“What was he like?”, Robert asked more seriously, squeezing Aaron’s hand slightly as he asked.

Aaron thought as he took a swig, “Jackson was just…amazing. I'm not very good at describing shit, but he was just always there for ya. There was never a moment that I doubted his love for me. He’d walk into a room and it would just light up. He was just a cheeky chap that liked a laugh, but protected everyone that he loved”.

“Sounds great”, Robert said, almost wistfully. Robert looked to the ground as he noted, “Nothing like me them”.

Aaron grimaced, choosing to ignore Robert’s tendency to make it about him again, “Yer different people though. Jackson was never ambitious, he never wanted the very best. He just wanted a life that he loved with people that he loved. I was always enough for him, and I was a right tosser for not realising the same earlier. It was a warm, cosy relationship. Two mates having a laugh that just happened to sleep together”.

“So we’re cold and uncomfortable?”, Aaron saw Robert squint his eyes in annoyance that he had said that before he could think.

“No”, Aaron squeezed Robert’s hand. “We’re just different. Me and Jackson were cosy, our relationship is much more…intense. It feels like fire, it’s addictive. It's like I can't help but want to be with ya, no matter how much I try not to. Every time you look at me it’s like a thousand bombs going off…it's just…powerful”. Aaron started on his second beer, pouring another beer onto Jackson’s grave as he added, “I guess why sometimes our relationship gets a bit fucked up”.

“Can you deal with that, though?”, Robert asked nervously. “I can't change everything, Aaron…I’ll always be ambitious, cheeky, crafty. I'll always want more than I have…but, I promise you, Aaron, I can't get any more than you. You're the very top. And I know that I can't prove that completely…so you'll have to trust me. And I'll understand if you can't trust me”.

“…I do”, Aaron’s gaze was locked on Robert, completely unwavering. “It’s up to me now to put the past behind me to move on. I know I can't do my life without you in it somehow, so that's the only way I can move on, with you next to me. We have to go slow, mind, not rush into it…but I'm ready to let myself be with you again”.

Robert sniffled slightly, a tear rolling down his cheek, finally letting his emotions flow over. Aaron just kept looking into those deep eyes, losing himself further and further until he knew he couldn't get out anymore. But he didn't want to. This time, there were no negative consequences. No more lies, no more tricks, no more pretences to hide behind. Just Robert and Aaron with a new life to build together, to take wherever they wanted, do whatever they wanted. Aaron could handle Robert’s ambition and his drive, because he knew now that Robert wanted to use that to make their own lives better, to get the best they could. Together.

"Aaron”, Robert whispers, his grin almost bursting as he leant in closer, teary eyes locked on Aaron’s until there was a paper width between them. Aaron nodded very slightly and Robert moved in until their lips touched. Aaron breathed in and let all of Robert wash over him, the last three months of separation fizzling in the cold air as Robert pressed a little further. The kiss was chaste, but full of love and affection. Aaron was just overwhelmed that he had the man he loved back in his life again, and he pressed back lightly, not wanting to be the one to let go first.

Eventually they pulled away together, grinning like Cheshire cats as they took a last swig of their beers.

“Sorry you had to see that, mate”, Aaron laughed as he rubbed the grass underneath him, forgetting slightly guiltily for a moment that Jackson had probably witnessed all of that. But he didn't mind, he knew Jackson would be happy that Aaron had found happiness. It was like a four year chapter since Jackson’s death had finally ended. Aaron would always cherish the time with Ed, but it was never enough. And the time when Aaron was having the affair was intense, but he was never happy. Now he was giving himself the chance to be happy. And although he knew there would be ups and downs, they would be on track. Aaron deserved that chance.

Getting up from the ground but still holding Robert’s hand, Aaron picked up the empty cans and put them in his hoodie pocket.

“Thanks…for everything, Jackson”, Aaron smiled. “I’ll come down next week to see you. Ready?”, he turned to Robert, who was pulling a face like he was still not entirely sure whether he was dreaming or not.

“Yeah”, he smiled. “We’ve got a party to go to!”, he winked, Aaron knowing well Robert’s love of an excuse to show off.  
Aaron rolled his eyes and turned to the tombstone, “See ya, Jackson. I love ya, mate”, he looked to Robert subconsciously, expecting jealousy. Instead, Robert flashed him a smile and a look of understanding, and squeezed his hand again as he led them to the gate.

“So…a little bird told me about you being too chicken to do a skydive with Jackson…?”, Robert teased.

“Fuck off”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, my first completed story. I hope you enjoyed it, and please do give Kudos and especially comments to let me know how to improve in the future. Thanks for all your support! :)


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